Tastemaker

This just in from Earl Dax:

Jon Jon Battles joins Larry Tee this Saturday at BANK.
Email me by 2:00 PM on Saturday for guest list.

I know that some of you have complained that the party isn't "downtown" enough, so I throw down the gauntlet. MAKE IT MORE DOWNTOWN. Bring your freakish fabulous selves, and take the place over! I know the drinks are expensive, so slip a flask in your cooch and come on down! Note: if you're bringing pot, bake it into a brownie. I can't bear another sad story of confiscated cannibus. Que lastima!!

~Earl

BANK is located at Essex (Ave. A) and Houston
earl@directfromnyc.com

"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections, and the truth of the Imagination." -Keats

Special acoustic set with The Deep Down's frontman, Tom Stabb, at Sin-e Bar this Sunday, 9pm.

Come out and play! It's Spring, and Sunday is still technically the weekend. Everybody will be out, so come join us! Plus it's free.

Sin-e Bar is on the corner of Attorney and Stanton in the LES.

FLORENCE, Ky. - A 13-year-old boy was charged with threatening President Bush — who is scheduled to travel to nearby Cincinnati next week — in two e-mails sent to the mayor, police said.

Investigators did not find anything in a search of the boy's home to make them think he was planning to carry out the alleged threats, police Capt. Linny Cloyd said.

The teen was in the custody of his mother at their home Tuesday. He faces one felony count of making a terroristic threat and is to appear in Boone County Family Court within two weeks.

"He is extremely well-versed in the history of President Bush," Cloyd said. "In talking with him, you can tell this is a hot-button topic with him." -MSNBC

Other than wondering who made up the word "terroristic," all I have to say is Hurrah! A preteen who is actually well-versed in politics is considered a threat to the Bush regime. Hah. Hah. Hah.
-Stabb

"It is a mistake to think that pleasure isn't functional. We don't take pleasure seriously enough."
-Charles Eames

FAIRFIELD, Conn. - Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.

"He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons."

The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.

In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home. -MSNBC

Good luck, Fairfield Avon Ladies! I have NEVER known a cat to respond well to words or concepts such as "forbidden." -Stabb

"Codeine... Bourbon..." -Tallulah Bankhead

So Tom shows me this month's Rolling Stone, and I'm like, hey, that guy looks familiar! Yeah, he used to be a regular at Southside Lounge, REALLY sweet guy... Kyp, yeah , that was his name...

And lo and behold, it IS Kyp in Rolling Stone, along with his band TV on the Radio. And we're like, hmmm, wasn't Kyp a poet-artist-philosopher-type? I don't recall him playing an instrument... what kind of music does he make?

So I check out a blurb on NPR on the web, and it calls them Art Rock in the spirit of the Talking Heads, and now it makes sense. I'm looking forward to hearing them, but haven't found a NY show yet.

And wow, Southside Lounge has been home-away-from-home for some of the nicest, coolest indy music performers: Langhorne Slim, Interpol, Arthur and the Twisted Ones... just to name a few. -Stabb

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, Massachusetts
According to OldeWebster.com, "Chaubunagungamaugg (the last 18 letters of the name) means "Fishing Place at the Boundary. " Authorities have indicated that the development of the name to the present long form stems from the time Samuel Slater began his mills near the lake, which was nearer the Manchaug village. Hence the Indian designation Chargoggagoggmanchauggagogg meaning "Englishmen at Manchaug," came into use. Later they added their original Indian descriptive name, and the entire designation becomes "Englishmen at Manchaug at the Fishing Place at the Boundary" or, Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Anglesey, Wales
The BBC says "The name translates as 'St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave'. "

Fucking, Austria

Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador

-Stabb

Long Live Addwaita: Tortoise Dies at 250

The Associated Press

CALCUTTA, India - One of the world's oldest creatures, a giant tortoise believed to have been about 250 years old, has died in the Calcutta zoo where it spent more than half its long life.

Addwaita, which means "the one and only" in the local Bengali language, was one of four Aldabra tortoises brought to India by British sailors in the 18th century.

Zoo officials say he was a gift for Lord Robert Clive of the East India Company, who was instrumental in establishing British colonial rule in India, before he returned to England in 1767.

Long after the other three tortoises died, Addwaita continued to thrive, living in Clive's garden before being moved to the zoo in 1875.

"According to records in the zoo, the age of the giant tortoise, Addwaita, who died on Wednesday, would be 250 years approximately," said zoo director Subir Chowdhury.

That would have made him much older than the world's oldest documented living animal: Harriet, a 176-year-old Galapagos tortoise who lives at the Australia Zoo north of Brisbane, according to the zoo's Web site. She was taken from the island of Isla Santa Cruz by Charles Darwin in the 19th century.

Aldabra tortoises come from the Aldabra atoll in the Seychelle islands in the Indian Ocean, and often live to more than 100 years of age. Males can weigh up to 550 pounds.

Addwaita, the zoo's biggest attraction, had been unwell for the last few days, said local Forest Minister Jogesh Burman,

"We were keeping a watch on him. When the zoo keepers went to his enclosure on Wednesday they found him dead," Burman said.